Thank you for this!! I have been telling myself so many negative stories which results in never making my dreams actionable. My voice matters, and you have inspired me to put value on my words and start a substack. Thank you, thank you, thank you
That was a very interesting post, Helen. Thanks for sharing! I absolutely agree with what you said, I come across this so often. Not so long ago, I realized that there is another reason that prevents me from starting some of my projects. It's that it's just so hard for me to allow myself to take small steps and give myself enough time to work on my project. I like to do everything slowly and carefully, but for some reason I always criticize myself for it. I try to do everything quickly (and, of course, perfectly), but I get overwhelmed by this tempo, and when I can't get through a project quickly, I get stressed. I'm just trying to find the reason for this behavior. Why can't I allow myself to set a reasonable time frame for projects? And why I'm so worried about not being able to meet the short deadline. I think this is the main reason why I'm procrastinating with big projects. My body is just anticipating future stress, and my mind is self-sabotaging to save me from overwhelming.I haven't found the reason yet, but gradually I began to allow myself to devote enough time to work on the project. I'm currently building my website and planned to finish it in a week (yes, that's what I mean when I talk about unrealistic deadlines). And I just told myself, ”Stop, this is going to take as long as it takes,” and set a new priority: ”enjoy the process.” So let's see what happens. 🙈
Thank you, Marina. You’ve also said something interesting and something I can relate to. For me, I always used to attempt to approach my creative projects like I’m working in an office. Got to be productive, got to be working all the time. I felt guilty if I took time out of my day to read for example, even though it’s an important part of what I do. So I would push and push and then burn out. Until it dawned on me that creativity isn’t like working in an office! And I can take my time.
P.s. I once heard a phrase from a professional illustrator. "Those who rest well, work well." In the moments when I remember it, it helps me turn off the inner critic.
Oh, it resonates with me too! And I think the first step to changing this is realizing that this way of doing things is not sustainable for me and that I can build my workday the way I want because I am my own boss. But, yes, it's easier said than done. ☀️
Oh my so funny you posted this, as I just had a similar epiphany the other day around setting goals for spring - and thought of you. I realized I was blocked on even outlining what I really wanted to do, because I feared not achieving every little thing I put down. It was such a revelation and relief. I haven't yet gotten those goals down - and I will after a little busy stretch this week & weekend. Thank you so much for sharing. Also I loved the snippet from your non-fiction book.
Well said Helen. We women do self- sabotage. I have had a creative plan formulating for 2 years! Your writing makes me I feel I can begin and not worry. if it all comes out muddled and not perfect. We must simply keep going ✨
I squawked "yes!" in reply to your title question 😂 I had a similar 'shower revelation' the other day, thinking about the book I'm trying to write, when I realised: "It doesn't have to be long!" I get to decide what my book is like, and maybe it's not 80,000 words. I didn't realise that was blocking me, but it definitely felt like a weight off to let it go.
Thank you for this!! I have been telling myself so many negative stories which results in never making my dreams actionable. My voice matters, and you have inspired me to put value on my words and start a substack. Thank you, thank you, thank you
Oh my goodness I relate to every word of this
Oh boy, I hear you. I have 50 years behind me of preferring to not try rather than to risk failure. It's a neverending loop.
THANK YOU for this post. xxx
Absolutely the same. Maybe it’s time for both of us!
That was a very interesting post, Helen. Thanks for sharing! I absolutely agree with what you said, I come across this so often. Not so long ago, I realized that there is another reason that prevents me from starting some of my projects. It's that it's just so hard for me to allow myself to take small steps and give myself enough time to work on my project. I like to do everything slowly and carefully, but for some reason I always criticize myself for it. I try to do everything quickly (and, of course, perfectly), but I get overwhelmed by this tempo, and when I can't get through a project quickly, I get stressed. I'm just trying to find the reason for this behavior. Why can't I allow myself to set a reasonable time frame for projects? And why I'm so worried about not being able to meet the short deadline. I think this is the main reason why I'm procrastinating with big projects. My body is just anticipating future stress, and my mind is self-sabotaging to save me from overwhelming.I haven't found the reason yet, but gradually I began to allow myself to devote enough time to work on the project. I'm currently building my website and planned to finish it in a week (yes, that's what I mean when I talk about unrealistic deadlines). And I just told myself, ”Stop, this is going to take as long as it takes,” and set a new priority: ”enjoy the process.” So let's see what happens. 🙈
Thank you, Marina. You’ve also said something interesting and something I can relate to. For me, I always used to attempt to approach my creative projects like I’m working in an office. Got to be productive, got to be working all the time. I felt guilty if I took time out of my day to read for example, even though it’s an important part of what I do. So I would push and push and then burn out. Until it dawned on me that creativity isn’t like working in an office! And I can take my time.
P.s. I once heard a phrase from a professional illustrator. "Those who rest well, work well." In the moments when I remember it, it helps me turn off the inner critic.
Oh, it resonates with me too! And I think the first step to changing this is realizing that this way of doing things is not sustainable for me and that I can build my workday the way I want because I am my own boss. But, yes, it's easier said than done. ☀️
Oh my so funny you posted this, as I just had a similar epiphany the other day around setting goals for spring - and thought of you. I realized I was blocked on even outlining what I really wanted to do, because I feared not achieving every little thing I put down. It was such a revelation and relief. I haven't yet gotten those goals down - and I will after a little busy stretch this week & weekend. Thank you so much for sharing. Also I loved the snippet from your non-fiction book.
I am SO glad you has that revelation! It’s such a heavy issue to shoulder. (And thank you!)
Well said Helen. We women do self- sabotage. I have had a creative plan formulating for 2 years! Your writing makes me I feel I can begin and not worry. if it all comes out muddled and not perfect. We must simply keep going ✨
Muddled and not perfect is good because it means you’ve begun!
I squawked "yes!" in reply to your title question 😂 I had a similar 'shower revelation' the other day, thinking about the book I'm trying to write, when I realised: "It doesn't have to be long!" I get to decide what my book is like, and maybe it's not 80,000 words. I didn't realise that was blocking me, but it definitely felt like a weight off to let it go.
Isn’t it funny how we create these rules that end up blocking us?! I’m so pleased you had that revelation!
Right? It makes me wonder what other rules are lurking and how I can lure them to the surface :)
There probably are more, I know I’ve got a few!