CRUMBS FROM THE WRITING DESK #3

A Writer's Junk Journal Diary | Week Beginning 9th June 2025

Sharing what has been happening behind the scenes of my writing life during the week. I’m calling it a junk journal because it incorporates various media types, including text, video, photos, screenshots, audio, and WhatsApp messages, among others.

I was going to do this junk journal diary twice a month. But, it might end up being more than that if I’ve been writing more. Which is what has happened this week as I decided to work on my novel.

This piece is too long to read in email, so click anywhere to open it up online or in the Substack app, and you can read it in its entirety.

Monday 9th June

7.40 am. On the school run for my daughter’s biology exam. This time next week, it’ll be her final exam. She’ll have got through nineteen of them. And even though I’ve not been taking them myself, I am coming to the exhausted part of this exam season. It definitely takes its toll on the parents.

12 pm. Back from school, fed, watered, and now it’s time for a writing session with my writing buddy,

Claire Holden

. My head doesn’t feel up to much, so I started by tidying my desk, going through my list of things to do and tried to get myself organised. Both in terms of my surroundings and inside my brain.

There is so much I want to do, but nothing on the list is ‘quick’; it all involves research and a significant time investment. I am still influenced by my social media years on Instagram, where I’d create a photograph, then upload it immediately, achieving that immediate dopamine release.

During this writing session, I opened my British Library book of the month:

I also watched Miranda Mills’ latest YouTube video in addition to the original Hamilton cast performance at the Tonys (the latter may have influenced the post I ended up writing on Tuesday).

1.45 pm. I started planning and mulling over ideas. In the olden days, I wouldn’t allow myself time to do this, but now I realise it is a crucial part of the creative process.

Last week, I had the idea of holding monthly masterclasses again. So I started to think about dates, wondering whether summer is a good time to hold my first masterclass about Becoming Creatively Confident or whether I should wait until September. But then, it’ll be available to watch later, so I don’t suppose it really matters.

2.20 pm. I’ve also had another idea for an interview series I’d like to begin soon. I emailed the first writer on my list, outlining my idea and asked her if she’d like to take part. She replied and said yes! :)

8 pm. Claire had helped me come up with my new bio for my profile, so I made the necessary changes in Substack, Instagram and so on. This is all related to the questionnaire I sent out last week. The top paragraph is what I had before. The bottom paragraph is what I have now.

I also received a notification from Substack:

Apparently, I’m number 68 Rising in Literature on their ‘scoreboards’. The first time this happened to me, I was excited, but I dropped out the following day, so I was brought back down to earth very quickly. But it’s nice to get.

Tuesday 10th June

12.45 pm. A relaxed morning as we had no exams to get to. Started my writing session with Claire, which was slightly delayed due to one of the dogs leaving a present for me at the bottom of my office stairs. Then the cat started meowing for food. Animals really choose their moments, don’t they? Especially cats. I think she does it deliberately.

I have a meaty essay partially written. But I’m not too sure what direction I’m going in with it or what my point is - so I’ve decided to put it to one side for now. Below is an excerpt showing the book that inspired me, but I think I’ve brought in too many other elements now in the rest of the essay and have lost the initial spark.

The writing session didn’t last long, but I continued writing a piece for Substack later that afternoon. Once I finished it, I emailed it to Claire. After all this time - three years writing on Substack - I still occasionally need Claire to do a ‘nob check’ for me. Just to make sure I don’t sound stupid. I’m writing more pieces out of my comfort zone recently, so I’m asking her for more ‘nob checks’ than usual.

This is the piece I wrote:

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This piece was inspired by a friend of my daughters who feels they have to whizz through all of their life stages really quickly. And it reminded me that I was the same for a long time. Then I read a piece by Sam Baker with some excellent wisdom in the form of quotes from other women. This one below caught my eye, and so the two pieces of inspiration joined together to create an article.

“You’re right on time. I had the sense when I was young that I had to hurry up and get to a certain place and I missed a lot. Just be where you are. See what’s here.”

Melissa Febos in Sam Baker’s Substack called 30 things women over 40 want you to know.

Originally, I sent it out behind the paywall. It felt like a vulnerable piece, but then I thought no - I’m going to remove it.

10 pm. Writing in my evening pages like I do every single night before sleep. The following is an excerpt from what I wrote:

“I feel low. Can feel myself being sucked down…I just need to keep doing my own thing…yet nothing is happening…no agent offer, no book deal. What do I work on next? Should I focus on fiction and start submitting that? I kind of like finishing projects and sending them out to agents. It makes me feel like I’m making progress, that I’m a proper writer. And maybe that’s what’s up with me. I feel out of control and overwhelmed. What if I focused on my novel just for two weeks? Giving it a time frame and a finish date makes me more inclined to do it.

Okay, that feels like a plan.”

I went to sleep feeling motivated for my fiction.

Wednesday 11th June

Why don’t we wake up with the same enthusiasm we went to sleep with? This morning, I struggled to make my way to my desk. So, I focused on a life admin task. Once that was completed, I felt better.

2.45 pm. Writing session. Lifted my novel folder onto my desk.

I have two drafts and cannot remember which one I was concentrating on last. It all feels too overwhelming, and I’m terrified I haven’t got it in me to finish it. No wonder I couldn’t make my way to my desk this morning.

Quite frankly, I want to cry at the enormity of the task ahead of me. I’m paralysed by fear. I opened the draft I chose to work on and battled with Grammarly for an hour. Stupid Grammarly. Then I wondered if by using Grammarly, I’m using Ai to write my novel. “Now that’s a thought that’s going to fester,” as Jed Bartlett says in The West Wing.

I then changed the font. THREE times. I settled on Garamond. Talk about procrastination.

Talking to Claire afterwards, I told her about a note I’d written on my phone the day before. How I’m waiting to see where all the overwhelming pieces in my head might fall. And she said the phrase ‘having to live in the soupy bit for a while’. So, I nicked it!

Anyway, I did finish editing chapter one of my novel. Granted, it didn’t need a lot of editing as it’s the chapter I’ve worked on the most. But it felt like a step forward. I’d started.

Claire messaged me to congratulate me on starting my novel edit. My reply sums up my worries.

Thursday 12th June

7.40 am. Another early start as my daughter has her geography exam. Just three exams to go.

11.30 am. Exam finished and back home. Writing session with Claire now. I was going to work on my novel, but decided to do some behind-the-scenes work on my Substack instead - again, influenced by the results of my questionnaire last week. I ended up changing my About page, my three automatic emails that go out when someone subscribes (for free, paid and founding subscribers), as well as my subscription offerings that appear on my subscribe page.

I also remembered to mention that I offer the replay of my masterclass called Your Writing Notebook to paid subscribers. So now the link to that class goes out in the confirmation email. If you’re paid and are interested in watching this masterclass, you can find it here (it’s a one-hour video recording (with slides) of my journaling masterclass).

4.30 pm. It felt good to get all that admin work done, but I also knew I was avoiding my novel editing. So I did another chapter. Chapter two is now edited.

Friday 13th June

8 am. A much-needed catch-up with my best mate this morning whilst my daughter sat her chemistry exam. I’ve been missing her whilst not being in a proper school run routine. Sitting at my desk and working from home means these catch-ups are always lovely, and I’ve learned, after my burnout, the importance of balance and having conversations in real life.

11.30 am. Got home. Daughter happy - one exam left - a quick bite, then rush out for my back and shoulder treatment. I keep all my stress in my arms and neck, which can get very painful, especially when writing, so I have regular sports massages to keep the pain at bay.

1 pm. Writing session, and I was NOT feeling it today. Claire and I promised ourselves we’d just do two turns of my fifteen-minute timer hourglass. It worked. I managed to edit chapter three before passing out on the settee (a side effect of the massage!) Then, in the evening, we went to see Rumours of Fleetwood Mac. A Fleetwood Mac tribute band endorsed by Mick Fleetwood. It was brilliant. The perfect end to the week.

Then on Saturday, I received this from Substack:

How long I’ll stay there is anyone’s guess!

Rumours of Fleetwood Mac

I write more behind-the-scenes essays behind the paywall for paid subscribers. Such as Behind-the-Scenes of an Agatha Christie Essay, where I shared how it felt to be writing something out of my comfort zone, what gave me the initial spark and what my research and writing process looked like.

If you’d like to upgrade to access more of these essays, then click below:

Alternatively, if you fancy it, you can buy me a coffee.