Am I Too Old for TikTok?
Is it my age or something deeper? Why TikTok felt uncomfortable lately.
Apologies, that’s a bit of a click-bait title. Because of course I know I’m not too old for TikTok.
There are grandmas and grandads on there. There’s a very popular couple who have been married for fifty-one years, dancing on the app to the trending sounds. There are fifty-something plus women working out, doing GRWM (that’s get ready with me for those out the loop) and sharing their ‘looks’ (what they’re wearing) or their homes.
I’m forty-eight (we’ll brush quickly over that I’m forty-nine next month) and have been writing on the Internet and creating on Instagram for ten to twenty years. So why does that intrusive thought occasionally whisper at me that I’m too old for TikTok?
But, it’s not just about age. I’ve found fellow writers on the app. (Seriously, it’s not just dancing - that’s so 2020. There are book reviewers, slow living and cosy ‘cottage core’ videos, journalers, people who share their daily routines - it can be quite lovely and inspiring). And many of them are in their twenties. Productive, go-getting, glossy. And I want to cry. Because, not only am I no longer in my twenties by two decades - but I’m also no longer productive, go-getting and glossy (I don’t know if I ever was the latter!)
It bothers me.
Which means how I’m feeling is not just about age. It’s that these women writers seem so much more sorted than I was in my twenties. So much more sorted than I am now. I am amazed by them. In awe of them. And feel a tiny bit rubbish in comparison.
In the past writers younger than myself have inspired me - think, Emma Gannon. But I’m a little intimidated by these TikTok writers with their proficiency and their apparent confidence.
And I realise - I am comparing myself. I am in full-scale comparison mode. I have forgotten how everything on the internet isn’t always as it seems. Social media is a highlight reel.
I am basically giving myself a hard time because I’m not as productive as I have been in the past. And when I’m not productive, when I don’t have that momentum I lose my spark and my confidence.
This isn’t about age. This isn’t about these twenty-something writers who are young enough to be my children.
This is about me and where I am with my creative confidence right now. And, it’s low. It’s okay to admit that. Because now I know, I can do something about it.
Back to TikTok, though. I am now creating videos on there. I’m starting from scratch. I have 355 followers so far, my videos get viewed around 220 times before coming to a halt, and it is a definite process. Those who have followed me for years know I love creating videos, so it fulfils that creative need in me. But the dopamine hits are low because I don’t get seen! So, if you’re on there do come and follow me. I’d love the company.
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I wonder if I need to train the algorithm because all I’ve been shown are talking head videos of girls in the 20s or early 30s.
Where are the people that look like me? In their 40s.
Also, I’m slightly scared I’ll get addicted! 😅
I've really enjoyed your videos on TikTok Helen. I started there in 2021 or 22. Well I did feel at first that it was a young person's app overtime I've definitely refined my feed and it's now filled with an amazing array of 40 and 50 something women.
As far as creating and the number of views I've rarely gotten above 2 or 300 views. I'm not quite sure what it is about a video that makes it stay at that level or on the very rare currents go much higher than that level.
I'm not necessarily aiming for any specific thing other than having fun and I think that app is really fun, Which is why I continue to be there. Although I definitely do it in fits and starts and sports depending on how I feel, And what else I've got going on.